I have been married for 7 years, and with my wife for 8.
She truly is a warm, beautiful and kind women. For the last 2 years, I just am not happy at home. I even quit a very good job that I had held for 15 years, to try and find happiness. One year later, I am in a worse state mentally.
We have two beautiful children. I can't find any fault with my wife. I am just not happy at home. I just feel pressure pushing against me from all sides.
Last February, I had to travel for work. I found myself at the hotel bar with some other people from the seminar I traveled to. We met a local woman, who was very friendly and she wanted to take the four of us out and show us the town.
I ended up in her hotel room, and had sex and began a long distance relationship. We have not seen each other since, but have made plans for a weekend together.
I feel guilty. But I also feel more free. I am trying not to put too much in the woman I had the affair with. I think I had all of these feelings that my unhappiness may be from my home. Crossing the line to an affair and relationship, for some reason feels liberating.
I don't know where to go from here. My heart says I may need to separate from my wife, to sort some things out and see if that helps my mood. I am afraid my brain knows that I have already checked out of this marriage.
I wish I was in a bad relationship with a horrible person. But I am not. My wife is full of love and is wonderful. Why can't I be happy with someone who loves me?