Grow..I am so sorry you are going through this. I went through something very similar with xpcp (she is not practicing in our area). She was the first person I opened up to. I felt safe with her. She had recommended finding a T and pdoc. Like you I was afraid of letting more people in. After a few months she convinced me to see a T. As she said my life is like and onion that had a lot of layers and she knew that I needed somebody more trained that her. My meds were very difficult. She was having a very hard time knowing what to do. I still didn't want to go elsewhere especially since I work with the Pdocs and pnps. After a while though I finally came around as I found myself very frustrated and T was able to help me see that by not seeing pnp I was not getting the most experienced care.

So I really do understand where you are coming from Grow. I have been there. I was frustrated that everybody kept telling me that I needed help other than what pcp could offer. I in fact wanted to stop seeing pcp as well. It helped that pcp knew a wonderful T from her previous work and thought we would be great together. She is my current T. I am so thankful I finally really heard what everybody was saying.