Okay friends, here is the now reality. I had wanted both posts to be deleted as I was just darned mad. The person chose to meld the two together. Okay. I had made a choice to leave here in a forever way. Sky, no recollection of your p.m. I had a kid, close to me and related to my friend shoot himself. I have a severe illness causing more pain. Not yet labeled. it stinks. I hurt. Sorry I behaved---"inappropriate" for the forums. I am doing everything I possibly can. Pat, think your email is missing. email me at home.