I used to do this a lot when I was younger: I put all my boyfriend's before my friends and I was ashamed of me doing this. In the end I realized that friends are very important, I'd never ditch a friend over a guy. Friends will always be my your side always, I get excited over a new relationship sure but I'd never ignore my friend if I was hanging out with them. Friendships have always been important to me, the only sad thing is half of all my good friends don't talk to me anymore. Cause I moved.

I hope things end up getting better for you however. I'm here for you if you ever need someone to talk too ever.