It seems that because there are no set boundaries, and lc seems to make them as she goes along, or whenever, its convenient, your emotions, are all over the place, it may not be her intention to hurt you, but, its a setback for you mentally.

She is not equipped to handle this type of situation, without you having a professional t, who will set boundaries in the beginning, to keep you safe, and provide consistancy.

Accepting an apology all the time is minimizing yourself and your needs.