Please, please, please, do not self harm. If that is something that you do not struggle with already, it isn't an addiction that is worth putting up with. It can become a monster very quickly. It is also not something to lose your job over.

Are there any adults that you know and you trust enough to talk about these things with? I know it is scary reaching out for help, but once you step out there, and you have someone to help you get through these times, you'll realize that opening up is the best thing that you could've ever done. Don't let embarrassment or shame get in your way of getting the help that you need

If your best friend left you just because you lost your virginity, I hate to sound harsh, but she wasn't a friend that you would want. Losing your virginity is nothing to end a friendship over. The consequences of losing that friendship are hard, but maybe you can try distracting yourself with other friends? That is something that I've had to learn how to do.

Try to find some ways to let off some steam. Go for a run, or do something artsy or musical to relieve your stress. Maybe this will help you out some with your dreams.

I'm sorry that you're going through this and feel so alone. It isn't something that is easy to do. If you need to vent, you can always pm me. I hope things start to get better for you!