I am so sick of brain and my emotions I have so many things going good for me I should be happy. And when I am it's great and then later on in the evening **** will hit the fan and I will be down again. I mean I hate saying but I hate myself deeply for the fact that I can be fine one minute and the next for no teal reason at all I am depressed sad and feel like ****. And I know I have no real reason for it. I feel so dis functI am so sick of brain and my emotions I have so many things going good for me I should be happy. And when I am it's great and then later on in the evening **** will hit the fan and I will be down again. I mean I hate saying but I hate myself deeply for the fact that I can be fine one minute and the next for no teal reason at all I am depressed sad and feel like ****. And I know I have no real reason for it. I feel so dis functional and broken. I an scared to death these mood swings effect me and boyfriend. And even with my crazy he tries to be there for me and love regardless I just know it has to be hard dealing with me like how. I guess as sad as it is I am surprised someone else can love, when I struggle with loving me as much as I doional and broken. I an scared to death these mood swings effect me and boyfriend. And even with my crazy he tries to be there for me and love regardless I just know it has to be hard dealing with me like how. I guess as sad as it is I am surprised someone else can love, when I struggle with loving me as much as I do