Growthing, you deserve to work with someone you can truly trust. The thing is, I get where you're coming from when you're scared your LCM won't call you back or when you're fearful she will take off and abandon you. I'm that way, too. As a matter of a fact, as I type this out there's a piece of me that wonders if my T will abandon me this week because I laid out some crazy transference feelings for him in an email the other day. But deep, deep down I know he will be there. Right on time, smile on his face, and not afraid to talk about it. Trust is a process, not something one gives overnight. And I'm in my process because he's never shown me otherwise.

Don't you deserve the same process? LCM means well, I have no doubts about that. But she's in over her head and it rubs me the wrong way that she's not been guiding you more clearly on the path towards finding a T to help you once you stop seeing school T.

I also know what it's like to be afraid of meeting new people and picking up the phone, but again, with practice it gets easier. I had a "crash course" in this when I started my career 7 years ago and I can truly say it's much better. Not easy, but much improved. It is possible to work with a T to get over your social anxieties. I don't think there's many therapists that would expect you to be 100% comfortable with them and sit in silence waiting for you to tell your whole story in the first session. And consulting a T does not mean you have to pick one. You're just consulting.

I'd like to say one more thing, and this part might sting so I'm sorry. I want to ask you to give serious consideration to your future with LCM. Can you see this relationship continuing as-is without causing harm? What happens if she moves? Gets engaged? Realizes she's not therapist-material and changes majors? How might you handle it if she cuts down on your time together? I think you need a therapist to help you work through the changes in your relationship that will happen because life is about changes and nothing is permanent.