I don't know how I was so positive this morning.. reading on boards here and offering good thoughts to people.

I just spent the last 3 hours physically curled up in a ball under my covers because it was the only thing I could do. It feels like my blood is boiling or poison is running through it because I all I want to do is cut. I find myself rocking back and forth trying to calm myself down and push away the thoughts but it's not working.

The only thing I can see for myself tonight is ending up in the ER needing more stitches.

What do I do??