I'm sorry you are feeling so horrible. Is there anything that has helped with urges in the past? Lately, I've found folding paper cranes to be a good distraction. I also try to do lots of art when I feel like that. Do you have any prescribed meds (prn's) you can take that can help calm you down? Is there something that triggered all of this? would maybe talking to a crisis line or friend help (or call your T if you have one)? I dunno. I wish I could actaully help. I hope you find something to do other than hurt yourself (and that helps take this away).