******Trigger warning*******








Too late The urges got the better for me and I did one hell of a job.

I took an ativan and had a cigarette but I couldn't call myself down. Even as I sit here typing this I'm shaking and the adrenaline is surging through my body.

I think I'm going to go to the hospital. Second time this month.... Hopefully this time I can actually talk to someone while I'm there instead of them just stitching me up and sending me off.