I am worried...I sent an email to T explaining how I would like to proceed in therapy and how I would like to me more open with her etc. I also said that I can be pretty stroppy and awkward and horrible at times and that I didn't want to be like that with her so I had my reservations about being more 'real' with her...she replied with a long mail saying that I need to trust her and learn to believe that she cares for me and it's unconditional. She went on to say I can say whatever I like, and behave however I want, within reason. Her explanation of 'within reason' was that it would not be okay for someone to hit her but would be okay for them to express anger verbally towards her.

I am really hurt and offended that she felt it necessary to write that. I have to mention that I have occasionally been aggressive towards my husband, in a tantrum like way when I am so angry I just hit out (something which I am deeply ashamed of and have told every professional I come into contact with to try and get help for it)...I have BPD and sometimes get out of control. I have never hurt my husband, it's more like a childish tantrum. I just cannot believe that T would think for a second that I could or would be anything like that with her, or would even think I wouldn't know that was unacceptable. After 7 years I still don't dare to even tell T when i am upset or hurt by anything she says, let alone express any kind of anger. I have sent her an email saying that I am really offended that she thinks I could be violent towards her. That's all I wrote. Now I am scared of her response. But furious with her at the same time.

Am I taking this the wrong way? I fear I will be judged here as well for my aggression...please try and understand and not judge me. Thanks.