Thank you, Open Eyes, for taking the time to read and reply.

Yes, I have often recognized my parents way of relating in my own relationships. And I know that; I discussed it with him, admitted my problems, and tried to get better. But his case was very different.

He wore the mask of the perfect bf since day one, and never took it off. If you read on the top of the page what he did to his previous gf (which is almost exactly the same as what he did to me) you will see that only a true psychopath could treat another human being --let alone the person he supposedly madly loves-- like that; only someone with no emotions whatsoever, who yet imitates them in the most perfect of ways.

It's not the cheating. This can happen to any normal and healthy person in a moment of weakness etc. It is a combination of things that show that he is not well: his texts the last days before the cheating up until only two hours before read that I'm the woman of his life, he wants to marry me, our relationship is stronger than ever, I should quit my job (which I hate) because he could support me till I find another one (I would also be unemployed if I had listened); he also sent me photos of apartments to look at so that we could move together in April; after the cheating he called me with a changed voice, told me he cheated. I asked him why? he said I don't know, I might be in love!! He NEVER called me again since that day (March 16th). NEVER. I called him, he wouldn't pick up. I begged him to talk to me, explain what is going on, how can he be so heartless and stop talking to me, as if I did smth bad. Nothing. I wrote to him a long email recognizing all my mistakes and asking to work things out. Nothing. And after 2-3 weeks of absolute silence, he sent me an email saying that my behavior had nothing to do with what happened. That he knows our relationship was perfect and that we were ideal for each other and that he will never have a deeper or more meaningful relationship with anyone else, but he cannot explain why he does what he does neither control it. And in the end he said I love you hope you'll forgive me one day. And that was it. The end. He never bothered to call or text again. Not even to see if I was ok after what he had done. That is not just immature. That is evil, vengeful. The exact opposite to what he had shown me consistently for 5 years.

I could recover a normal breakup, where there is this gradual falling apart etc. But this, how can I? It's so sick and twisted. How will I ever trust again?