It sounds like you have the rules all mixed up. I dont understand who in your world is allowed to talk and who is allowed to hit. Maybe if you figure out why those rules are confused - like were they messed up when you were a kid? Parents saying do as i say, not as i do? - you'll be able to figure out a set of rules to live by, for yourself and others. But right now they just seem confusing and scary, not helpful.