Thanks all. I am getting a bit of perspective and beginning to calm down about the whole thing. Maybe you're right, maybe it is just standards of what she tells people...I think what I find difficult is that she has known me for 7 years now...that's a long time. I don't consider myself to be a client that she has to clarify boundaries with, especially since she has never once talked about boundaries with me! Even rules around fees for phone calls, emails etc. are unclear and I find myself guessing if I need to pay her or not and transferring payment. So boundaries are not readily discussed.

She also knows how incredibly bad I feel about ever being aggressive towards my husband and how I have held my hands up about it and begged for help. This feels clumsy to me and I am still hurt that she put it in the way she did.