Oh (((Trebyn))) I am so sorry you are not getting help. When I was reading your post I could identify with those feelings. I am sorry you didn't really get the justice you deserved, or the help you needed because what this abuser did caused you to develop PTSD. It isn't so much that you need to see a psychiatrist as you need to find a therapist.
I understand how you are feeling angry that you need to pay to have someone care, me too in a way, but a good therapist is more then just a person who is pretending to care. A good therapist is a person who understands the challenge of PTSD and actually cares about helping a person like you to finally heal. I finally found a therapist that works with me on a sliding scale, I pay out of pocket and I could not afford a more expensive T.

Yes, PTSD can make a person feel like a shell, and the other symptoms you are describing, but there is a person inside you, just a confused person who struggles with a disorder that can be very challenging. North America is a big area, I don't know where you live and what your circumstances are, but there has to be a way you can find a therapist and help. Don't give up on yourself, you "can" make gains on this condition.

(((Hugs))))
OE