Lately my depression and anxiety haven't been very bad. It was such an amazing feeling to have both of my illnesses under control. I mean, there are still bad days, but not as many.

Anyways...

Here is my issue. I recently began talking to a guy that I've been infatuated with for far too many months. We had an amazing conversation and I was so proud of myself for taking the chance and he's even more wonderful than I could have EVER imagined. I was told by a mutual friend that he was extremely happy and excited that he got the chance to finally talk to me. I'll be completely honest here: hearing that was one of the best feelings in the world. I couldn't stop smiling.

Today I said hello. It's nice to actually be on a talking basis with him...finally.

And now here I sit, tears running down my cheeks, ruining my makeup. All because I can't help but wonder WHY would ANYBODY want to get to know ME? WHY would ANYBODY want to talk to ME? WHY would ANYBODY actually be excited to get the chance to finally talk to ME? WHY would ANYBODY find ME attractive? Especially THIS guy. I'm not special. I'm really not. I'm not even close. He's way too good for me. He's so far out of my league.

The second-guessing and over-thinking are back. Dammit. I'm hopeless.