you know T always said my adoptive mother never "held" my baby rage. Maybe thats what I am trying to fix. People run from me when I am angry. I wouldnt hurt them but I test them. Will they still accept me once they've seen my rage????? I know now it never was about just my birth mother. Its about the rage any baby would feel at having the "wrong" mother...but having a good enought 2nd mother that could have contained this rage and loved me anyways would have made a lot of difference.

This big block of yuk I always feel inside is rage!. I will look in the mirror and with rage on my face and love me anyhow!!