Oh my goodness, I know exactly what you're talking about!
When the things that you absolutely love, like your nephew, become so distant even though it's right there. A few months ago during my major depressive episode, I ran away to my sister's house, and she didn't know what to do so she had me play with my nephew. But it wasn't really playing because the only emotion I felt was extreme emptiness.
And you can't take time out of life because you will lose everything you've worked so hard for, and the pdoc appointment is still three weeks away (that's the same amount of time it was for me too). I understand
What my sister first suggested was to move my pdoc appt to be sooner. But she wasn't available any sooner, and I was a danger to myself. It was horribly inconvenient to go to the hospital, but it's basically why I'm still here today.

So I want you to ask yourself a question, and be brutally honest: "Can I trust myself right now?". If the answer is no, then go to the hospital. No buts. You are more important than the money you make. Otherwise, maybe you could try to move your pdoc appt to be sooner than 3 weeks. If possible. Because I know how busy they usually are.

Hang in there, mija. You are strong, and you will make it!