I hear you. As a child, my emotions were not developed and I could be cold. However, as I grew up, I changed. Having spent a lot of time with people and having gotten to know them - and them having gotten to know me - relationships became deeper. Parent - child relationships where I initially followed instructions changed to ones where there were deeper conversations. (With me, this was truer with aunts, uncles and cousins than with parents.) I never did well with friends but I did grow with family. Often, it took effort. I made effort to develop relations with nieces and nephews. It paid off. I picked up the phone and called cousins and nieces and nephews. I emailed. Sometimes I feel less close than others. My feelings can be inconsistent. But we are there for each other when it matters. Even if you're going in blind, you have to make an effort in order to find out if there are rewards however small or inconsistent.