Hello Lady of Shallott- I am new to this site and came across your post from a few days ago and I can read and feel the pain, anger, and confusion you are experiencing. I have had what it would call an emotional affair with a colleague at work. It appears from your post, you were completely dedicated to your job- your husband was in another city and to use your words, the marriage was 'dead'. As a woman and as a hard working employee, I personally believe we start to bond with these men around us -you spend time with them, you collaborate, solve problems, work on goals- you communicate. In my situation, working 9-10 hours a day and having a husband who worked on 2nd shift, my personal and emotional feelings became wrapped up with my colleague. if I have read and understand correctly, you never had a physical affair with your boss/ coworker during the peak of the relationship. IMHO, this is VERY odd for a man to not take advantage of having another woman in his life, at work, and in his bed. From my perspective, this man used you and perhaps unconsciously or not, lead you to believe you would be the next dynamic duo at the new job site or company. Again, if I understand the details, I think something happened - either he found someone else to fill the ' woman at work who.loves me and makes me look good ' roll ; or he was playing with your emotions the entire time to get what he wanted out of you- perhaps to help his ego grow larger than it already is or was and you were the brains behind him with the department and you made him look good - and he used you as a stepping stone. Again, these are my thoughts and opinions. I have actually seen other women be treated as the brains to help the guy get to the next step/BP or President level and sometimes they divorce their wives and @ other times, these individuals walk out without a glance back - on the backs of the romantic relationships and the hard work of others that were not insiders romantic relationships. As a woman in an executive level position, the emotional/ soft side of you has to be protected. My heart goes out to you- forgive yourself for whatever guilt you have - write the letter if you think you should- and I would suggest to wait a couple of days - revisit the letter and send if you feel you should. I think upon receipt of such a letter will only give him a boost to his ego and do you really want to hear back from him? He does not deserve your talent as a qualified employee and your heart is too fragile to confront him from a position of assertive strength. He deserves no more of your love, time, nor tears. Draw your strength from deep within yourself and move on with your life with your head held high - and never look back.