I have tried working things out with my pdoc. I haven't tried the free meds yet. I'm not sure if Lamictal or its off brand qualify. It is worth looking into. Thank you.

I do like reading, so I'll give the book a look.

I had once considered writing things down to bring to therapy sessions, so I would be able to read them out or hand him the paper and just tell him to discuss what was on it. Before I could go through with that, though, he retired. Email might be easier. I like that idea. When I was a teenager and saw my first psychiatrist, she suggested the email thing. Back then, though, we didn't have a home computer. So, I couldn't ever try it.

That's kind of like my experience. I'm not overly concerned about his possible lack of concern. I honestly have trouble knowing whether someone truly is concerned about me or not unless they make it blatantly obvious (which does crush me). But I do want them to care. My grades are important to me. My education is.

I try to remind myself that it's only temporary. Some days, it helps. Unfortunately, when I'm in deep depressive episodes such as this one, I don't believe it. I have not self harmed since the second post here. But it is still weighing on my mind that I did it in the first place. I walked around today in 80 degree weather, having to wear long sleeves. I'm really tired. I haven't slept a wink since Friday. Hopefully I'll be able to sleep tonight.