Hi,

Just read this thread.

I hope things are peaceful right now between the two of you.

Your marriage sounds a lot like mine (11 yrs together, 8 married) Lots of anger and lack of trust and hurt feelings.

I think for my h and I the worst thing is the anger... on both sides. It is easy to tell friends that we are a victim of another's anger... and they will of course advise us we are being abused -- but it is harder to describe and be honest about our own anger and bad habits.

Not to say that necessarily you are equally to blame... but you may be. It's hard to know. I know that my goal has been to fully figure out exactly what "I" am doing that contributes to the situation... once I've got that fully figured out, then I figure I will be in a position to decide whether I want to be with HIM or not. If that makes sense.

Btw, I know my h gets weird over finances too and the fight you most recently describe is EXACTLY the same as fights we have had over marriage counseling... my h really does worry over money. I don't share his concern, but it would be rude (and inaccurate) of me to say it is not "real".

How are things going?

M