Been sitting here for a while reading this forum, especially the reasons not to SI. Those were helpful as well as knowing that I am not the only one.
Because of my depression I had to go back on medication and to do that I have to go back to a psychiatrist. To do this I had to do an interview to explain why I need to see one. Explaining parts of the past made it too real again. I think I am cursed in that I have strong body memories. . . so I have been feeling things I don't want to remember much less feel again and one way I used to escape those feelings - SI.
Nothing like a nice jolt of pain, rush of endorphins and sitting there watching the blood flow to do that for me at least. I think I have already slipped a bit in that I have been pulling out hairs on my arms and ah well other places but not cutting or sticking pins or needles into me.
Stupid perhaps but I can't seem to recall what I used to do to derail those nasty memories. Why are some men such pigs?
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dalila
Worry is like a rocking chair. It gives you something to do but it doesn't get you anywhere.
-Erma Bombeck
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