Oh yes, I'm am still very afraid of dying. I'm not afraid of being dead, but I'm terrified of the act of dying and the myriads of horrible ways that it will probably happen.

I can pinpoint to what triggered this fear, too. My father died unexpectedly when I was 21. It was a heart attack and it left a terrible impression on me. Emergency personnel worked on him for almost an hour. They had brought him back a couple times, but they couldn't hang on to him. A few months later, after the grief really started to sink in (I spent the first few months just trying to keep my mom and my sister together because we had a family business to run) I started having panic attacks at night. My thoughts constantly revolved on how death could strike us at any moment, randomly and without warning. I have a hard time being around very old, infirm people and/or the dying.

It doesn't help that panic attacks make you feel like you're going to die and therefore feeding the panic in a vicious cycle. My panic attacks have lessened and become less frequent over time, but I should have sought help and medication to help treat the symptoms of the panic attacks. I think perhaps it could have helped with my struggle depression and anxiety in some ways.