In your post above it seems like you are saying you have justified your mother's abuse of you because you were 'such a horrible child'. To you, these report cards show state in black and white how extremely bad and awful you were, and thus the mother unit was right to punish you so severely.

If so, no wonder your t's response doesn't fit right with you. You believe you were a horrible child who deserved to be punished (abused) so badly, T believes you were just a normal every day kid, who should never have been abused at all.

Both can't be right, can they?

I once read that one of the hardest things to do in life is to accept evidence that contradicts a deeply held belief. Doing so can turn a person's whole world upside down and throw everything into a temporary chaos. Imagine finding out that something you have believed at the very core of your being - something that has influenced every single aspect of your life - is wrong.

Your t's response contradicts your lifelong belief about yourself that you were a child who deserved to be abused.

No wonder you can't accept her response as believable

...yet.

This work is hard, but it will be worth your life, Granite.