Old friend called me today, said she's on 12-step program for compulsive overeating. What drives me insane about her 'talk' is when she says that she has no control over her overeating and she has to tell her sponsor what she's going to be eating on any given day, and I'm like OHMYGOD! They give over their freedom of choice, somehow they buy into the belief that they don't have control over their own actions! aaarrrrggghhh....

Oh well, different strokes for different folks.

If I understood you correctly, Mouse, you're saying among other things, that you are being condemned for not submitting to a 'higher power'. Oh well, we submit to the power within us You also mention you may have an issue about 'belonging' etc. The truth is that notwithstanding your desire/need for belonging, the reality of the groups's attitude is not to be dismissed. Let us not forget that though the present reality and historical experience may converge to make for a painful experience they both deserve our attention. The group of people you are referring to may or may not be shunning you for not submitting to a higher authority. One way to know that is to ask. If their response is that they do respect your journey then you know that you have simply been projecting your feeling of not-belonging onto the group. But if the response it that your journey is somehow 'wrong' or something of that nature, then you know that your experience of not-belonging in the group is a reality. Armed with this info you can now make an informed decision whether this group meets your needs for improved well-being.

Forgive me if I have misunderstood you. I may have to reread your post. I will re-read it anyway because i find your insight and self-disclosure so refreshing and always-capable-of-making-me-nod-my-head-as-I-read-your-posts!

Take gentle care,