Quote:
Originally Posted by Steve223
You sound like you have the classic picture of AS going on. These tests can have variable results because sometimes you change as you get older due to increasing socialization, increased demands, and a generally different life structure that the autism will sometimes fade into the distant background. This was why when I took the test a while ago, I only got a 19 on the AQ score (which is considered a reliable screening tool). I definitely am autistic (self diagnosed), but the only reason I got this score was because of forced changes in my environment (due to social pressures) caused me to lose many of my autistic traits. To surprise many of you, I actually miss a lot of them, especially my utterly intense, singular interests which have now been completely lost never to be seen again. I used to watch the same movies over and over and over for hours as a kid, delve deeply and passionately into scientific subjects acquiring rainman like knowledge of them, but as I integrated into the social world I totally lost all of that  |
I'm going to be honest with you, I don't think you have an ASD.
I really don't mean to be rude but; if you scored 19 on the AQ test (which you refer to yourself as a 'reliable screening tool' but you disagree with the results of), you don't have any real difficulty socialising, you were able to adapt and 'lose autism traits' from forced change, you don't have problems with singular focus... then the chances are your difficulties were never caused by an ASD.
By it's very nature, austim is a life long condition. Sure you can learn to deal with the symptoms of it, but they never go away. No matter how good we get at skill management, or socialisation they are still challenging and tiring. We're all prone to losing ourselves in singular focus on a special interest.
I am 28, almost 29, and I still find socialisation to be a daunting and exhausting experience. To be fair, I was only diagnosed a year ago so perhaps I will get better with it in time. But you've never been diagnosed and it's only in the last few weeks you've been posting that you suspect ASD so I don't see how you could already have overcome these issues without any sort of therapy.
Like JosieTheGirl, I have 'issues' with crockery. I have set pieces of crockery which I use for set times or meals. I use three cups a day (two cups, one glass to be precise), one bowl, one plate. The same pieces I use every day and if somebody else uses them or moves them then I get incredibly anxious and upset. One cup is used for tea in the morning along with my bowl for my cereal, crunchy nut cornflakes (the same cereal I've eaten every day for the last 5 or so years now). The glass is used for drinking orange diluting juice during the day (I only drink the same brand of orange juice all day long, no deviations, no alterations), then my plate for my evening meal, and my other cup is used for my hot chocolate in the evening.
I live my life with routines and structure, if anything causes disruption to those routines I will have a meltdown and be left with a feeling of emptiness that cannot be undone. I would not simply adapt and lose my traits of autism. Being able to is the exact opposite of one of the major diagnostic criteria of any ASD.
Your posts give me the increasing impression that you may suffer from some form of BPD or DID.
I truly apologise if this comes across as rude or offensive. But I'm trying to urge you to seek professional help. You obviously have some mental health issues you need to work through, but guessing what they are isn't going to fix them.