I just want to disappear but I can't. I have a baby to take care of, a house to take care of. My son will sit on my lap and smile at me like he's just so happy just to be with me, and when he sees me cry like I do all the time he looks at me confused. When my SO is here I act like it's fine, like everything's great, like I've had a great day. When he's at work it's horrible. Nobody knows how I feel because I can't bring myself to tell them. I'm so tired of being alone.