Yesterday I talked to my boyfriend. I told him that basically I am not in any position to be in a relationship. I need to get through some stuff, and I need to focus on my relationship with God. I mean.. I've consistently been in a relationship since I was in 6th grade. I'm about to graduate high school now. There are a lot of changes that happen to a girl and the way her mind operates from ages 10 to 18.

I just wanted to be free.. you know? I loved my boyfriend, don't get me wrong, but we weren't in a lasting relationship. Granted we were together for 2 years, I just wasn't happy and I wasn't getting anything from the relationship. I honestly think I stuck around so long because his family was like my second family.

Today I have been in a really depressed mood. I don't know what to do or how to feel about it, but I knew it was one of those things that just had to be done. To top it off I have my first appointment with a nutritionist tomorrow for my ed and I'm really nervous about that. Plus, my anti depressants aren't really working out that great right now.

I don't know what I'm trying to say other than this sucks, but I had to get out of a relationship that was like a rut. Today has been really hard too because this is really triggering my si and I'm not hungry at all.