I have a deep need for love and close intimate relationships but when my needs do not get met by the people in my life I get so cold, rejecting and angry. I realize that this only makes me less lovable but my twisted way of thinking is that if you don't love me I will be indifferent to you so that I do not need you love. So I just try and pull away and only give short clipped answers. If I am never going to get the warmth and love that I need why bother ? Why no just ball up in my little shell and be self sufficient ? But I can never make good on these vows in most cases when my loved ones prod a bit all my hurt feelings some pouring out. I just want to shut down completely so no one can ever hurt or disappoint me again.