Quote:
Originally Posted by kawaiigurl1981
I have a deep need for love and close intimate relationships but when my needs do not get met by the people in my life I get so cold, rejecting and angry. I realize that this only makes me less lovable but my twisted way of thinking is that if you don't love me I will be indifferent to you so that I do not need you love. So I just try and pull away and only give short clipped answers. If I am never going to get the warmth and love that I need why bother ? Why no just ball up in my little shell and be self sufficient ? But I can never make good on these vows in most cases when my loved ones prod a bit all my hurt feelings some pouring out. I just want to shut down completely so no one can ever hurt or disappoint me again.
|
it would be so nice to do that, unfortunately you sound a lot like me & for me it is impossible for me to shut down like that..the few brief moments when i do get the love i want it is intoxicating & it feels so good i never want to let go, even if the person is not sincere(using me to get something and pretending to care) i do the exact same thing you do, it's tough..sometimes i just want to just outright beg people to love me, but i know i would look ridiculous doing so, but it doesn't change the fact or the feeling inside..i know the feeling too well
__________________
I have learned that i and i alone am responsible for my happiness, most people these days are as reliable as wet toilet paper!
