Everything in this thread is soooo true for me too.

I'm used to being the giver... not the reciever. I'm used to just giving and giving and not having anything back... so if someone gives me care and kindness, I freak out wondering "what are they expecting from me? What am I supposed to do? I don't know what they want!". I really, really, question their motives.. because why would someone ever just care for me without expecting something in return? That's how my brain rolls. I don't trust that there is no ulterior motive, and then I feel a lot of shame for feeling like that.