When I'm at groups and stuff, I'm actually quite popular. Being in places like that triggers hypomania and when I'm in that state I'm actually very charismatic and magnetic. Enough so that I see other people who are quieter than me look on with a measure of jealousy that I integrate so well. Of course all the people who ARE drawn to me during this time are not real friends. They are not there after the fact . They are with their real friends and I am ultimately alone.

Most of the groups that I do attend(ed) are associated with mental health support groups. I thought it would be a more accepting place and the people would be less judgmental, but not really. The people who are confident and well enough to form a connection with me are confident and well enough to judge me too. Those who aren't well enough, I struggle to connect with myself because they are too closed off.