gosh, you really take me back to life before finding the right meds. it can be different if you are persistent and patient and work hard to find the right med combo. it took me over 2 1/2 years but I finally found the right meds and now I lead a stable life for four years now. it can be done. drove my pdoc up the wall refusing to stay on meds that just weren't cutting it, I refused to up dosages on meds that weren't working. I made him change them. I wanted immediate relief. if they were working in a couple of months, I changed them until I found something that did work. and it paid off. drugs that work without side effects. you can have a stable life too. advocate for yourself. be persistent. it will pay off. take care.