hi blueeyedgirl
since you don't seem to have a support system I hope you will consider counseling to give you the coping skills to manage your depression. you can also try googling a nami support group in your area. that will give you a place to go talk about your feelings where they will understand. welcome to psych central. you will find that we have several forums where you can post about your concerns and receive feedback from other members. you will get a lot of support here. again, welcome