it sounds very much that you are speaking from the heart, that you are open and honest and you sound like one of the kindest loving understanding supportive people in existence. coming from my abusive past, you are simply too good to be true and I want to know how to clone you. seriously though, if you are seeking absolution, you've got it. it sounds like you have done everything possible but due to her mental illness, she just couldn't grasp it. your life was being destroyed. there comes a time you have to say uncle and you did before you lost your entire being. now you are picking up the pieces, stand proud knowing you did all you could. you cant beat mental illness. ive tried. I know how hard it is and it keeps beating me back down and I just do my best. its all I can do. its time you take care of yourself. do it without guilt. be free. its time. take care.