I yelled at my dad yesterday for some f-ed up stuff he's done that's really affected me in my life. He told me I needed to grow up and take responsibility for my own actions and feelings. The physical and emotional abuse I suffered from him as a child and teen are just a small fraction of the things that have happened to me by family members who say they love me, then hurt me. He told me yesterday that he didn't even believe i have a mental illness and that it's all bs. Today he texted me and apologized to me for the first time ever and asked that we have a real conversation about me and what's going on with me. I wasn't expecting this and I had just resigned myself to hating him... But now that he wants to know about everything I don't know if I want to be vulnerable and tell him and then have him still tell me I'm lying and making excuses for my behavior. I don't blame my mental illness for my shortcomings. I feel my shortcomings so deeply that they are a part of my core as a person not because of my mental illness. I don't know what I'm going to say to him. I think I'm gonna try to write it all down.

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