I used to hear music as a kid and sometimes felt a menacing presence (mumbling ) in the shadows of my bedroom...made going to bed and sleeping hard. I was abused as a kid. My real father used to lock me in the closet when I cried as a baby and my step father used to pyschologically, emotionally, physically (later attempted sexual). I am not really looking for sympathy just someone else who remembers hearing voices as a kid. I think I withdrew (dissociative) so bad that I started hearing my own subconscious.

I still went to school but I knew I was much different than the other kids and had a hard time developing friendships. My household looked quite normal from the outside. Later in high school and college, I was quite fond of LSD because when I was high I felt like somebody else.

I had my first episode at 19 and during this time I was given thorazine and locked in an isolation room for 3 days (I have PSTD from it). My mother was told I was a basket case and to give up but when my doctor finally changed my med (the thorazine made me violent), I crawled back to some kind of normalcy and finished college and worked and all that functioning as a member of society stuff.

I have other episodes and the doctors love to come up with unusual labels, I just roll my eyes, take the meds and get back to work and eventually they forget about me and let me live some kind of life.

However, at 48 I have kinda of given up. It was bad this last time even though I really really tried to play by the rules...I just wanted the chance to heal but everyone just wanted me in the hospital...over and over...until I finally lost my rather good health insurance and then it was like...hey...your cured. Really.

I also had a car accident and got a concussion but everyone seemed more interested in my diagnosis as a mental health patient rather than the fact that I was having weird headaches.

Ok I sorta *****ed a little...but seriously who remembers hearing stuff as a kid?

Thank you and even though life is bizarre now, at least I am still allowed to see my daughter so I am ok and I sorta have a safe place to live...I am also getting a divorce from my emotionally abusive husband.

And I do have a hobby...a blog, it is about controlling your emotions, I had to learn to really really control my feelings and emotions so that I could be a "functioning member of society." So it has tips about not allowing your emotions to rule you.

Please respond...thank you.