I am admitting it to the world that I have a problem. I have been married ten years with the most awesome, insanely beautiful woman any man could ever wish for. she is my rock and my best friend. however, I have really really hurt this wife of mine with looking at online porn and most recently engaging in inappropriate text messages with another woman, nothing was ever physical but it was the same in a way. over the last 10 years I have been caught by my wife on 3 separate occasions looking at online porn and this last time was caught having inappropriate texts and sending pictures with another woman. I have been doing a lot of soul searching the last 74 days since my wife found out about my latest "adventures". I have to say I thank god every day that my wife has not left me this time. she was ready and I wouldn't have blamed her one bit. the hurt I have caused her is the worst punishment I could ever imagine. I have looked deep into my soul and have finally realized that I was never ever truly satisfied with looking at online porn and the two occasions that I text with that other woman wernt even close to being satisfying. I belive that it wasn't satisfying because I was really looking for a woman that was my wife. I know, I know this sounds really strange but my wife turns me on like no one else ever has (or as I believe, ever will) so why the online porn, why the other woman? why would I resort to this dark place? I believe that I lost sight of what was really important and that's the love my wife and I share in our marriage. I was so wrapped up into having intercourse with her that I forgot how to make love to her. I felt so hurt from being turned down for sex with my wife by my wife that I resorted to porn because it didn't say "I have a headache" or "im too tired tonight". I was selfish. I was ignorant and immature. my wife holds our family together. she is the "rock". she takes care of our two children, one of whom is special needs, and is busy all day being used as a jungle gym by our special needs son that no wonder shes not in the mood. its hard though because I think my wife is gorgeous and I miss us being together but I know I have so much work ahead of me to finally get rid of this addiction. I want my life, I want to live free. I am a sex addict and I am taking it one day at a time.............