I think it's difficult for people to accept that some people will never change. There's a warm and fuzzy feeling in the thought that anyone can change, and perhaps that's theoretically true, but practically is a different matter.

My former therapist actually hinted that since my parents are getting older, "maybe they've changed without you having to do anything about it." I thought, "Uh, no, it doesn't work that way with them." This was about 5 years ago. One year ago, I reconnected with my sister. She's been talking to me about her frustrations with them, and guess what? The only way they've changed is to get worse. I'm grateful that I listened to my intuition and not the well-meaning voice of society (through my former therapist).

I agree that it's not about punishment. There's no reason why we should put ourselves in the path of an abuser. We have the right to protect ourselves, and sometimes that means low contact or no contact.