<blockquote>
My last few posts have felt a little over the top and I even asked LMo if she would be so kind as to remove two of them for me. (Which she did -- Thank you LMo.) In case any readers are concerned, I am not referring to any present state in those posts -- I am drawing on my past experience.

There came a point in that experience, when "God" showed up. I find it reassuring that occurred at the point when I was in the most pain and anguish.

Within the framework of "schizophrenia" this stage would be recognized as a manic phase. Within a mystical framework it would be recognized as the point that the last shred of individual personality has been removed -- there is no longer anything left to separate the I-From-The-Thou.<blockquote><font color=191970>Every frozen piece of grief and trauma within me came forward. Every loss. Every fear. Every failure. Every bit of heartbreak. As I opened myself more and more to the process, as I dropped every possible defense or barrier, it became quite painful, not only emotionally but also physically. My chest felt as if it were being crushed. My throat felt like it was in a vice. My limbs and joints ached and felt disconnected. I hyperventilated. I shook and trembled. I vomited terror and grief. I could feel strange sensations within my body, as if places within me were opening. I smelled perfume. I slipped the bonds of time and into the black womb of the Universe.

<center>. . . I am dancing with God . . . </center>

Source: Psychosis, PTSD and Story as Vehicle of Healing</font></blockquote>

In the thread on Dr. Bertram Karon he notes that schizophrenia is a form of chronic terror. I agree so wholeheartedly with that perspective, and there is nothing so terrifying as death.

That point in my experience has been one I've struggled with the most. In a way, it was the most painful, the most terrifying yet once I actually got there, my pain stopped. Peace, Peace, Peace. For that reason, it's also one of my favorite parts.

How does a human being begin to understand such an experience? You do so by studying what is known of death and dying. Here's a brief excerpt from the link above that can provide some insights...

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Ancient books of the dead
The description of the resources available to dying people in pre-industrial cultures would not be complete without mentioning the books of the dead, such as the Tibetan Bardo Thödol, the Egyptian Pert em hru, the Aztec Codex Borgia, or the European Ars moriendi.

When the ancient books of the dead first came to the attention of Western scholars, they were considered to be fictitious descriptions of the posthumous journey of the soul, and, as such, wishful fabrications of people who were unable to accept the grim reality of death. They were put in the same category as fairy tales—imaginary creations of human fantasy that had definite artistic beauty, but no relevance for everyday reality.

However, a deeper study of these texts revealed that they had been used as guides in the context of sacred mysteries and of spiritual practice and very likely described the experiences of the initiates and practitioners. From this new perspective, presenting the books of the dead as manuals for the dying appeared to be simply a clever disguise invented by the priests to obscure their real function and protect their deeper esoteric meaning and message from the uninitiated. However the exact nature of the procedures used by the ancient spiritual systems to induce these states remains an unexplored area.

Modern research focusing on NOSC brought unexpected new insights into this problem area. Systematic study of the experiences in psychedelic sessions, powerful non-drug forms of psychotherapy, and spontaneously occurring psychospiritual crises showed that in all these situations, people can encounter an entire spectrum of unusual experiences, including sequences of agony and dying, passing through hell, facing divine judgment, being reborn, reaching the celestial realms, and confronting memories from previous incarnations. These states were strikingly similar to those described in the eschatological texts of ancient and pre-industrial cultures.

Another missing piece of the puzzle was provided by thanatology, the new scientific discipline specifically studying death and dying. Thanatological studies of near-death states by people such as Raymond Moody, Kenneth Ring, Michael Sabom, Bruce Greyson and Charles Flynn showed that the experiences associated with life-threatening situations bear a deep resemblance to the descriptions from the ancient books of the dead, as well as those reported by subjects in psychedelic sessions and modern experiential psychotherapy.

It has thus become clear that the ancient eschatological texts are actually maps of the inner territories of the psyche encountered in profound NOSC, including those associated with biological dying. The experiences involved seem to transcend race and culture and originate in the collective unconscious as described by C. G. Jung.

It is possible to spend one’s entire lifetime without ever experiencing these realms or even without being aware of their existence, until one is catapulted into them at the time of biological death. However, for some people this experiential area becomes available during their lifetime in a variety of situations including psychedelic sessions or some other powerful forms of self-exploration, serious spiritual practice, participation in shamanic rituals, or during spontaneous psycho-spiritual crises. This opens up for them the possibility of experiential exploration of these territories of the psyche on their own terms so that the encounter with death does not come as a complete surprise when it is imposed on them at the time of biological demise.

Source: The Sacred Source: Life, Death, and the Survival of Consciousness