i think this is at best a compatibility issue and at worst it's really about control. sometimes one person wants a lot more contact, or a particular type of contact, than the other person in a relationship. that is a compatibility issue and one that has to be negotiated if possible. that doesn't mean it is okay to make it a test of one's love. making it into a test of your love is manipulation. also, the fact that he seems to want to know all your daily plans isn't telling him how you feel. that seems more like keeping an eye on you. is he happy if you just tell him how you feel about him throughout the day or does he insist on knowing your whereabouts? personally, either would be too much for me and i'd look for someone more secure in himself who doesn't need constant reassurance.

really though, my main worry would be what i added onto my previous post. i'm not a parent but i can't imagine any parent saying putting their needs first is more important than their child's. that is bad news any way you read it. also, putting someone else's needs before your own desires doesn't mean you will never get your needs met. it means knowing what is more important for your child to have than your own little desires like having your gf spend the night in your room. seriously, that insistence on putting himself first over children sounds like big trouble.

he isn't considering how his 2 teenagers, your son or you feel about the sleep over but only what he wants. the ink is barely dry on his divorce so to think his sons will be fine with this arrangement is highly unlikely. the least he could do is not shove the new relationship, and the accompanying sex life, under his kids' nose. sorry to be so blunt but this man doesn't seem to have much of an emotional clue.