I don't think anyone is perfect with their meds. I took the day off. Rarely do this, but for just one day I wanted to be clear. To just be a person, just be myself and feel my emotions without a filter.

It was a great day to do this because I got some great news at the VA. And I got to spend the day being happy. Just me. No meds. Just being happy. It was wonderful.

I know I have to take em tonight so I can sleep, and tomorrow I'll be back on my regular schedual. Wish I didn't have to take em. Wish I could live without this filter. But I need my boudaries, need that protection from the rage and the depression and self esteem so low you'd have to dig it up with a shovel.

But it was a clear day and I'll keep the memory tucked somewhere special. Those people who can always have clear days-I envy them.