Part of this is you, and part of this is the T (as it always is in therapy). You say you cancel a lot of appointments. I suspect part of the issue with continuity of sessions is that you are trying to have sessions on the phone when apparently that really isn't the preferred method for sessions. You have to physically show up, let the T lay eyes on you, see your body language, have a bit of structure to the sessions. Otherwise, the T may not really view your phone conversations as real "sessions" and not work as deeply with you as could be done face to face.

This T may very well not be the right one for you, but it is hard to know if you aren't really showing up consistently for sessions. Talk to her about your concerns, but also start going to sessions. Both of you seem to need more structure. It is kind of her to accommodate your frequent cancellations with phone sessions, but it isn't working for you.