Warning: this is a long & honest post.

To the OP: I totally relate to your situation. The EXACT same thing is happening to me in terms of making & maintaining connections. It really sucks.

What I hate is that people try to downplay the situation for what it is. How can you tell me that you value me as a friend/person when my repeated, CONSISTENT attempts to reach out are deflected??? And when I sit with you face to face & directly ask what the issue is, in as civil of a manner as I can muster (since I can't force you to talk to me or like me) I don't get direct answers???

It's that very reason why the Rosas I come across I stop contacting. I was only called because _____ wasn't answering their phone or because ____ had ____ to do. At some point they realize they no longer have my attention & all of a sudden I'm 'missed'.

I just let that call, that text, that email go unanswered.

I'd rather be visibly alone than symbolically alone. I have no time for anyone's games or to entertain anyone's childish bulls**t. I hung on to those people for as long as I did not because I wasn't aware of what they were doing - but because I WAS aware of them mistreating me & I was desperate to entertain them since I wanted to be able to say I had friends: and they knew that. We all know what people think of those who don't have friends. And trust me: anyone who treats you like a Rosa in life is NOT a friend or a good candidate for a potential romantic interest.

Just like you, I have done many things & had many opportunities (& still have) to make new friends. At this point I'm well aware there's something about me that puts people off because in an entire group of people I'm the ONLY person who is treated differently with that blatant disrespect; which is ironic given people always tell me that I'm a very respectful person.

Being too busy, 'I just see you as my ____ friend', or having ___ to do is not an excuse. Yes, we're all aware you do have a life outside of me. That's obvious. However those are things people say/do because they are avoiding having as much contact as possible with that one person who's just ok to talk to on occasion or when they feel up to it or its convenient for them. It hurts even more when this happens with EVERY SINGLE PERSON you come across. Frankly, like you said, it's annoying - especially since most people who don't experience this don't understand. All they see is what you could've/should've do/ne the next time & it is NOT that simple. If it was, people dealing with this issue wouldn't be where they are. What makes it worse is hearing that this is a relatively simple issue to solve. Again, if it was, the problem wouldn't exist.

I won't say 'just do ___' since I'm basically in the same situation...I live in the city too & as friendly as I try to be I'm constantly met with unfriendly, haughty people. What I will say, though, is don't make the mistake of thinking you're alone like I once did. Yes, it's incredibly painful & that's more than understandable. But if you do a few searches online, you'll discover just how common this is.

To everyone else: Btw, if anyone has any magic remedies, I'd like to know.

In all seriousness though, if you have advice outside of the obvious I'm willing to hear it.