Reflecting on what you are both saying, I am 22 and struggling with being an "adult" around my mother, who is emotionally unavailable. Maybe this is me trying to "grow up" that inner part of me that still turns into a child around her? And maybe the fear and the cops coming after me is my mind's way of saying it is scary and difficult and that I feel like I am "breaking the rules" by setting boundaries and enforcing them?

That's the best I have got right now.