I just feel like I have nothing in my life to live for. My boyfriend is married and it will be several years before he can leave his wife. Of course I did not believe him at first and thought he was just stringing me alone but after my own extensive research I found that his estimation of the situation is correct.

To avoid having to pay alimony he will have to wait until she has completed her school and is gainfully employed. After which he can file for separation. The only way to obtain a no fault divorce in out state is a one year separation period in which you are basically still considered married so if you see someone else it could open up the possibility of your spouse charging adultery. I am an avid little researcher, I checked and double checked.

Then once the do get divorced he and I still cannot live together unless we are married. They have three children and for custody and vitiation he will not be allowed to live with someone that he is not married to because that is "an immoral environment" for the children.

So I am just like "what is the point" ? Why do I keep building this relationship that cannot get to the domestic place that I want for so long ? Will I even still want it after so much time has passed? I am just so desperately unhappy. Everyone says "just leave him" like it's a magical panacea but I know that I will still be unhappy in that event as well.