do you ever feel so lonely
even in a crowd
when people are laughing
and music is loud

i watch other couples
who are happy and stare
in each others eyes
i wish i were there.

seems such along time
since my heart skipped a beat
when i looked at my husband
and life seemed so sweet.

19 years gone,
i miss what we had
he used to be loving
but love just went bad

i ache for affection
so sad it may sound
but now more than ever
i sink to the ground.

my head in my hands
for a love that is lost
its not much to ask for
just a hug i want most.

i may ask too much
but for now i need care
need to be held
know that someone is there.

my heart's crying out
need strong loving arms
my past's going to haunt me
i can hear the alarms.

my head rings with fear
of what memories will bring
a wound tearing open
to spill everything.

doubt and despair
and the need to take flight
to get in my car
and just get lost in the night.

but cant run away
have to face all my demons
have to make myself better
for so many reasons

i'm sorry already
if i come back upset
please stay with me through this
i may need you yet

when i'm over the worst
i'll be here for you
to give my advice
and to help you through too.

jinn xoxoxo