I am wondering if her actions are truly genuine and that she has really decided to forgive me, give me another chance and move forward with our relationship. Keep in mind this is the second (2) serious incident. My anxiety and depression is through the roof and all I keep obsessing over, is that this is a mask and that she is going to change her mind in the future and want to separate. This terrifies me to no end because I love her with all my heart we do everything together and she and my family mean the world to me.

You can't second judge if she's genuine. Shes choosing to stay with you. Please treat her like you would if your best friend found out their significant other did this.

don’t deserve to be loved or happy again. good thing its not your choice.

You can't tell her it won't happen again. Manias one of those things that likes just to show up. Here is the things that I see from you post:

Not sleeping well either sleep apnea or hypo mania. Do you have a c-pap? Have you had you alnoids and tonsils removed? Do you have allergies or asthma? But I bet it was hypomania.

As for more than 2 alcohol look at it as a mania sign because its out of carictor. Messing with meds were not normal for you so that was a hint too. You may want to limit your access to the internet when your doing things out of charictor.